Resolving 5 Controversies Marriage Counselors Have Created

By The Rev. Osondu Ahirika

*.Where you find your wife doesn’t matter

No two marriage experiences are the same in evolution, details or strategy. Adam saw his wife in a Garden, Isaac’s father sent emmissaries to his village to find him a wife, Moses after a fight by the Well in a desert, Jacob as a fugitive in the field, David through lottery after killing Goloiath, the King Ahasuerus found Esther during a beauty pageant, Ruth was an employee working in a farm when she was taken by Boaz her boss, and Hosea found his in a brothel.

You may Find yours through facebook, in church, in a camp, beach, stadium market or anywhere. Success in marriage is not dependent on, or determined by where you met. What matters is, if that’s who God assigned as your missing half.

*Who weds you is of little or no consequence

I have heard people say, who weds you matters. I even heard some say, I can’t be wedded by an unmarried Minister. Truth is, this again is meaningless.

So should Catholics not be joined by Priests who are single having vowed to be celibate?

Who wedded Adam and Eve, Issac and Rebecca, David and Michal etc? Not much attention is paid to those.

Jesus attended a wedding at Cana, Galilee. I have a hundred thousand for who can tell me the name of the officiating Ministers. Fact is, what is important is finding a wife, agreeing to marry and inviting Jesus to your marriage and having Him all the way. If you have a great Pastor to Wed you, good. But I have read a book on medical science titled, ‘Where there is no Doctor’. What if you are where there is no Benny Hinn or Enoch Adeboye?

*Every detail must not be perfect for marriage to be successful

Marriage is elaborate in nature, demanding a lot of details in consultations, event planning and managing. Yet, all details needn’t be inch perfect for it to be successful. The wedding Jesus was a guest didn’t have enough wine. It was a low key wedding, yet very successful.

That some people Wed in Ships, or fly to Dubai to Wed doesn’t diminish a made in Ibiaku Ntok Okpo wedding performed under the canopy.

All of us must not have the same big society wedding attracting the Who -is -Who. Indeed, the number of guests to attend your wedding is exclusively at your discretion. After all, where two or three are gathered in God’s name is valid for His presence. Just do your thing within your means

*Moving into your Father in-laws house is a No, No.

No matter how bad the situation is, never move in to live with your wife in your Father in-laws house even if his name is Governor Rochas Okorocha and he is ever ready to make you succeed him. There is 97 % chance It will most likely backfire. Jacob worked hard at it, it didn’t work. David tried it, and the outcome was woeful. Indeed, it almost took their lives.

More importantly, don’t move into live in the house of the woman you married. It’s an error and a time bomb. If Jesus tarries, she will throw you out someday.

*White wedding or Traditional wedding ?

Don’t let anyone fool you, what we call white wedding is desirable but not spiritually comnanded. Don’t let any marriage counselor deceive or indict you that, you didn’t Wed in church. If you can afford it beautiful and good. If you can’t, the commanded thing is paying her bride price and wedding her according to the extant culture, which differs from tribe to tribe.

As the name goes, White wedding, is borrowed from our Western colonizers who evangelized us. It is their culture which we adapted and have even extremified. You can do both if you can, but never skip the traditional marriage no matter what.

Argue if you want to. What I have written, I have written. If there are more controversies you want me to address, bring it on.


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